Do you ever wonder if one thing was different about you life? Do you ever wonder if you had made one single decision differently how that might affect how you live your life today? I know I do. What moments do you wonder about?

It is really disappointing to me that after everything we have been through and as hard as we have tried to make a friendship that there is still lies and secrets and dishonesty. Seriously I just wish some people would get off their high horse and just be real and realize they aren’t as perfect as they think they are. I am sick of always initiating conversation and now I feel like such an idiot. This person actually doesn’t even value my friendship and best part is I didn’t actually find this out from them but my friend (my true friend). I am just really annoyed and hurt by this. Like one would think someone would have the guts to say the truth to my face even if the truth hurts even if its in the past it should be said if you are in fact as honest of a person as you say you are. I guess I was just so happy to have gotten over fighting with this person that I was too glad to be friends again…I shouldn’t have even bothered. And now I am the one who looks like the dumb one. I should have seen it. Dang. I am just really hurt. And its bad too because I actually defended this person I wanted them to be who I thought they were so badly but there were people who saw but nooo I didn’t believe them…I really should have. This just really sucks!

Now I don’t know what to do. My ex-friend doesn’t know I know. Maybe I will just stop talking to them. I almost want to say something but I am not supposed to know…hmmm. Gosh I just wish people would really act like who they say they are. I know I am not perfect by any means but I have ALWAYS been honest with how I feel about people even if it hurts them…its the truth. Even when it is hard to tell them at least I can tell myself I have been honest.

What do you all think?